Exciting Changes in My Life (reposted from Facebook)

It was this note that I wrote for Facebook earlier this week that caused me to think about writing again, specifically marking occasions in my life.  Many who read it here, will be folks who read and commented on it there, but this feels like a better place to hold on to the message for a longer time.

Written Wednesday, January 6, 2010
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My recent announcement may come as a surprise to many, so I thought I'd write a note to share a bit about what's been going on in my life lately. I hope that everyone can celebrate with me - I'm excited and sincerely happy for the first time in a long time. Be forewarned: this is a long and difficult (in places) letter to you, my friends. But trust me... and keep reading. There is so much joy in my life right now.

Moving to Pasadena - September 2004
I followed God's clear direction in my life to come to Pasadena CA and begin studies at Fuller Seminary. This was a HUGE move for me, because I'd lived in the LA area before (briefly) and knew that I didn't really like it. But this pull...this call.... it was bigger than any discomfort I might have been feeling about the location. This was a true call to do something very specific: so I moved.

I will be honest. I've never felt at home here. Never felt settled. Have always wanted to be somewhere else. I've spent more than 5 years living somewhere that never felt like home.

School and Vocation
Lest anyone worry that I am abandoning my call, let me reassure you: I am still called, I will still study. I love how God continues to work in my life - in ways I never expect. I believe He delights in keeping me on my toes. :)

Fuller has been a good place for me. The intentions of the Brehm Center are still in line with my sense of call and vocation. I will finish my MDiv someday. Anyone who knows the story of my Bachelor's degree will know that I am not a typical student. I take my time and follow God's leading in my life - even when it goes against traditional paths.

But...

Finances
Fuller (and Southern California) are too expensive. I'm in my mid-30s, single and at one point a couple years ago I was broke. Literally broke. Living paycheck-to-paycheck. Eating from the dollar store. Living in seedy hotels because I couldn't pay rent. (Yes, really. Long-kept secret that I feel like sharing now.) I stopped taking classes because I honestly had no money for them. I was incurring GOBS of debt by taking loans and realized that I wouldn't ever get out from under that debt. Single, mid-30s, studying to be a Presbyterian pastor and beginning to sense a possible call to interim (transitional) ministry. There was no way I'd be able to afford to live with the debt that was piling up.

So, after much prayer and many tears, I stopped taking classes and started working for the school. The plan was to work full-time and take classes part-time. That never really came to fruition. I found it very difficult to fit in classes with my schedule. And so I watched as classes -generations- of friends came and went from Fuller. Watching from the sidelines - so close to my calling and unable to act on it. Oppressed by debt and day-to-day finances.

Relationships
And I was alone. Single. Beginning to wonder if I'd ever marry or have children (both things that I had honestly thought would be part of my life). I've never felt "called to be single". I've always loved children and envisioned having some of my own. I've prayed -begged- repeatedly over the years that if I was misunderstanding God's design for me, He would PLEASE take away these longings. If anything, I craved marriage and children more.

Friendships were becoming harder for me to maintain. With my shame at my financial situation, my frustration with work and classes, my depression as I watched friends come and go, my lonliness with no partner.... I withdrew. I allowed friendships to wane and disappear. I became essentially a hermit.

And yet...
God sustained me. God protected me. God loved me - even in the mess I'd made of my life.

Ever since college, I've made and kept friendships with people I've met online. I LOVE the internet and the possibilities of relationship here. The friends reading this note are all over the world - literally. Australia, New Zealand, Canada, England, Amsterdam, all over the US.... and more. My friends are all over the map regarding faith and lifestyle as well - and that's part of why I love them. What a beautiful world God created. What amazing creatures we all are - so unique, so different....and yet... so much the same.

It is this online community that introduced me to the man I love. Scott and I met on the Customer Service Forum for World of Warcraft. Yes, friends, I play WoW. And I love it. And I met Scott through the game. :P

He has been a huge blessing in my life. Starting as a friend and fellow gamer.... and then.... our friendship grew. Our friends in the game encouraged. We both prayed...a lot.

My life changes - for the better
I was working in a job I enjoyed, with people I like and respect and am honored to call friends.
I had friends again, people who cared about my life as I cared about theirs.
I was emerging from my hermit-ness.
I was in a good apartment and able to start paying off debt and even save some money.
And I was in love. With a man who surprised me. Who had children from a past relationship (oh boy did I hear God laughing in glee at this point).

But...

He's in Phoenix. And so are his girls.

And so..... now you know why I'm accepting a job with American Express in Phoenix. I'm confident that God has opened these doors on purpose, just as He has been making clear that doors here in Pasadena are closing for me.

With the financial troubles in our nation, and specifically here at Fuller, my position has been in limbo for many months. Changes are coming and my position, my particular set of skills and gifts don't fit as well. I would have a job, but not one that was as right for me as my current job. I'm not taking classes, and given that I have 1.5 years of classes done here in Pasadena, I can study anywhere - including Fuller Southwest in Phoenix. I'm in love with a man who lives there... and neither of us are ready to take the next step in our relationship until we can live near each other and spend real, "normal" time together.

So I started looking for a job in Phoenix. I wasn't going to just take any job; I was looking to make a good decision, not a hasty one.

Scott works for AmEx and sent me the listings. There was one job that stood out. It required my skill set. It would be challenging, but it is the kind of job that stays at work, freeing me up to do the things I miss: sing semi-professionally, study, be social. The location is right: Scott and I can carpool. The price was right, based on online calculators I'd found converting LA costs to Phoenix costs.

I applied on Friday, December 11th. By lunchtime that same day they had me doing an online assessment. On Monday, I played phone tag with someone from the recruiting office. On Tuesday, a pre-interview with the recruiting screener/scheduler. On Wednesday, an interview with the recruiter. On Thursday, an interview with the hiring manager.

Yes. In less than a week, I'd been completely vetted for this job, and had a very good feeling.

On December 22, just 11 days after applying for the job, the hiring manager called me back and asked if she could hold on to my resume to consider for the February 15th training class. She told me to expect a call the first week of January. I was left with the feeling that I would be offered the job, but no guarantees were made.

She called me this morning. And offered me a job that I'm excited about. In a city I can't wait to be in. At a company I know will be around for awhile. For an hourly wage that is HIGHER than what I needed to be able to make the transition.

It will be a bittersweet time as I prepare to leave Pasadena. So many people to say farewell to. So many things to do.

But I am SO excited. And happier than I've been in years.

God is GOOD. All the time.